Insomnia
by BHiddlegrin
Summary: Neviril and Aueru find themselves alone for the first time in months after their first Emerald Ri Mājon jump, but restless sleep keeps them both awake.


Aaeru unconsciously fumbled with her small music box as she starred ahead into the growing darkness of the room. She was sitting on top of an old hay mattress with Neviril, who'd fallen asleep, some time ago. Aaeru watched as Neviril mumbled something,and rolled over, facing her now, eyes closed, fully asleep. She was like a goddess, thick pink hair cascading down her shoulders, beautiful and curled. For a moment, Aaeru was taken aback by the sight of her, how beautiful she was, even in the darkness of the room, the moonlight highlighting and accenting her perfect features.

Silently, Aaeru took a strand of hair and held it, careful not to wake her sleeping companion. For a moment she realized how lucky she was, having Neviril always by her side. She felt a pang of uneasiness at the thought of losing her.

Aaeru shook the thought from her mind as she slipped into the covers and laid back down. They were already warm from Neviril's touch.

"Good, I was getting worried that you weren't going to sleep," Neviril suddenly whispered, though her eyes were closed.

Aaeru jumped out of her skin. "I thought you were-!"

"Go to sleep." Neviril's eyes were open now, and through two orbs of light blue, she gave Aaeru a saddened expression. "You've been worrying me."

"You're one to talk," Aaeru said. "How many times have you gone on walks by yourself at night because you couldn't sleep?"

Neviril frowned. "I didn't know you-"

"Noticed? I notice," Aaeru said.

_ And every time, I worry that you won't come back. _

"I'm sorry to wake you, Neviril. Lets go back to bed."

"Now I can't sleep…"

"Oh! For Tempus Spatium's sake!" Aaeru said, but jokingly as she sat back up.

"Please don't swear…" Neviril yawned. "I was just thinking nice thoughts of you…"

Aaeru laughed. "Nice thoughts, huh? Were we flying in the sky and you decided to eject me from my cockpit so I could go skydiving to my death?

Neviril clamped a hand around Aaeru's wrist tightly. "Don't say things like that… ever."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

"You better be…" Neviril said as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Now we can stay awake together."

For a moment, Aaeru was at a loss for words as she stared at Neviril. Even before daybreak, Neviril still stuck by her side, making sure that she was safe and happy, without reason or cause, just because.

"What are you starring at?" Neviril asked. "Do I have something on my face? You're giving me one of those weird looks again."

"N-no! I'm not starring!" Aaeru said, so quickly and defensively that Neviril started to laugh a little. Aaeru's face burned hot with embarrassment, pained by her translucentness. She stared awkwardly down at her hands.

"Now you're not going to look at me?"

"Nope," Aaeru said in mock defiance.

"Okay, well, guess it's time to read."

"No!" Aaeru said, slapping Neviril's hands away from the floor where one of her books lay open. "I just want to sit here with you… if that's okay."

"Okay," Neviril said. Aaeru noticed a faint smile lurking at the corners of her lips. "I will sit here with you, Aaeru."

Aaeru's face flushed red again.

"Am I not allowed to say your name now?"

"No, of course you're allowed to say my name…" Aaeru mumbled.

_ It's just… _she thought as Neviril entwined their fingers together, _it's just… that… I don't deserve you… Neviril… _

Neviril, Sibylla Aurea, ex-Reginia of Chor Tempest. Beautiful Neviril, always keeping a calm composure, standing up for her beliefs, the Sibyllae of the upmost purity and respect. Neviril, who is so revered that junior Sibyllae were known to be reprimanded for not addressing her properly, even in her absense. The way that Aaeru saw it, Neviril could be with anyone- so why be with her? Aaeru, the Sibylla known infamously as the fighter with the chip on her shoulder, who can't keep her mouth shut, who always says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Compared to Neviril, Aaeru was no one. But for some strange reason, they worked together. Like two puzzle pieces, each shaped differently, but could fit together perfectly.

"You're very quiet, Aaeru," Neviril said.

"I'm just… thinking."

"About what?"

Aaeru paused for a long moment before saying, "About why we did this, I guess."

Neviril lifted her head. "Are you having doubts?"

"No! No… I'm just… sorry… That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

Aaeru knew the answer to the question, but couldn't explain it, not to Neviril. So, instead, she rested her head against Neviril's chest, listening to her heart beat, just wanting to stay like this, forever. She felt Neviril's hand comb gently through her long blonde hair. Aaeru closed her eyes, feeling calm against the warmth of her body.

"Never leave me, okay?" Neviril said.

Aaeru lifted her head. "What?"

Now it was Neviril, full of embahrassment.

"Just… never leave me, okay? I don't know if I can bare…" Neviril looked pained, then, suddenly, a tear fell down the side of her cheek. "Not again… I can't bare to lose…"

She was talking about Amuria.

Aaeru jumped up with alarm. She grabbed her hands and comforted her in her arms just when Neviril started to cry.

"I would never leave you," Aaeru said. "How could you think that?"

"I don't know! You've just been so quiet lately, I must have done something wrong!" Neviril said. "Just tell me what I did, so I can fix it, please… you have no idea how much it's killing me inside."

"But, Neviril… it's nothing like that, trust me."

"Trust you- you can't even answer a simple question!"

Aaeru quickly kissed her on the lips, hoping this would make things better. And it did. Neviril sniffed away her tears as she kissed Aaeru back. One soft, heartfelt kiss. That was all they needed from each other.

They broke apart.

"Okay…" Neviril said.

"Okay," Aaeru agreed. "I love you, and I will never try to leave you."

"_Try_…" Neviril repeated saddly.

Aaeru slapped her. "You know what I meant, and I mean it. You're everything to me."

"Just… call me names or something, disrespect me… yell nonsense at me. I feel like you're holding back… and I don't know why," Neviril said. "Lately I've been feeling this way."

Aaeru felt herself frown. She'd been doing all of those things, even pretending to pray to Tempus Spatium- but it was all for Neviril, everything was for her.

"I don't want you to change for me," Neviril continued. "I like you the way you are."

"Even when I call you names and make you upset?" Aaeru said.

"Especially when you call me names and make me upset," Neviril said.

Aaeru felt herself smile at this and settled back down in Neviril's arms. And with that, the two Sybilla fell asleep, holding eacother, for the first time in days.


End file.
